Dawn of Change

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Is it really possible to find your passion amidst a struggling economy?

In recent years, we’ve experienced quite possibly the worst drought ever when it comes to employment. The effect it’s made on our self-confidence and happiness has been drastic and has been something i’ve personally spoken about in a previous article and in particular, how it lead me onto starting this blog. One thing I haven’t mentioned is whether it’s possible to do something you love when you’re in financial difficulties.

This is a problem many of us face due to having little choice but to make decisions solely on our ability to survive and get by. After all, how can we quite possibly survive without taking care of our basic necessities?

This leads to a paradox and sends us on a downward spiral. It’s a basic problem i’ve found, which i’ve struggled to answer on a number of occasions due to being a victim to this very issue myself and only now finding a way to rise above it.

The solution is perhaps one that becomes more obvious the further you begin to understand what passion actually is and why it’s imperative to pursue it regardless of your situation.

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This is a Guest Post by Bob Burg who has been a massive influence on me in the last few years having read his book and putting it to use. He will be explaining how to motivate others to be their best selves, and why it’s paramount to giving value and building a healthy society of better people with increased self-confidence.

Yep – it’s true. Give someone a positive trait or characteristic to live up to and the chances are, they will. This is not just a feel-good philosophy but one that has proven to work time and again. In a previous article we looked at one reason. Now, let’s discuss another.

In Les Giblin’s classic, How To Have Confidence And Power in Dealing With People, he shows that the best way to elicit one acting in a certain way is to let them “live up” to your expectation of them. The following story told by the author, regarding people living up to a trait they are not usually given, demonstrates a method as good as any “truth serum” on the market today.

Wow, talk about giving one something to live up to!

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For the longest time, i’ve often felt like I was experiencing a streak of bad luck. So much so that I often felt carrying on the current path I was in was a complete waste of time. Looking back at my past, perhaps I was right.

Back in 2005 having graduated from University and excited about what was in front of me in the real world. I had visions of myself getting into the video games industry and becoming known as one of the most successful video game creators the world has ever seen.

Lofty goals for sure, yet it was what kept me going for a number of years until I decided the industry wasn’t for me and fell into the world of Computers and System Administration. It wasn’t until my first job when I experienced a taste of entrepreneurship having personally met a venture capitalist that I started to notice where my passions steered.

I was keen on starting my own business but lacked the skills or know-how to get started. Over the coming years, I went from job to job, not really happy with the way things were going. Often trying to analyze why I was being steered in the direction I really didn’t want to be going in. Most of the time, I fell into jobs mostly due to acts of desperation, a tough economy and a lack of financial resources. I knew that something had to change…

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Is it actually possible to become successful by being a complete failure?

For the longest time, i’ve always worked hard for success. It was such a big ambition of mine that I would often try to prevent myself from making any mistakes and that if I did, I would consider myself a complete failure.

This is no coincidence because it is often taught by society that failing is bad and that if we are unsuccessful, we are basically destined to be that way for the remainder of our lives. This notion plagued me during school where I would often get bullied by my peers and get told how I would ‘be a complete failure at life’ and not become the person i’ve always dreamed of becoming.

Little did I know at the time how right they actually were. Because the more I got into personal development over the years and the more I focused on personal growth, the more I started to realize that failure is good. And that if I were to become a better person, I would have to experience failure in every aspect of my life if I were to improve it in any way.

Having read so few books on this very topic, I recently came across one having been recommended it by Bob Burg in a recent interview.

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Is it possible to succeed whilst taking your time?

When I look back on my past successes, it’s clear that many of them had involved a streak of failures and mishaps along the way, causing a tremendous amount of frustration and disappointment.

It’s perhaps a common theme, which every successful person goes through when learning and pursuing a new endeavor. Hardly any of them have an easy ride due to not knowing what to do and learning through experience.

There are also people however who i’ve come across who seem to have an easy time. They coast through life with no hardship with success often being a straight line upwards. This would often frustrate me to see knowing how hard it was for me going through a similar process but not having it as easy.

The truth is, there is rarely ever an easy way out

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Before starting this blog and getting into self-confidence and personal development, I would often spend countless hours reading books in order to help refocus my mind and to change my beliefs into one that was more positive.

We’re very fortunate that we live in a time where the internet makes reaching out for help as easy as sending a tweet or an email. Furthermore, we also have the opportunity to reach out to others who are in the same place as us. We’re no longer left feeling hopeless or lonely and can connect with people and share stories that was never quite possible to do just a decade ago beyond attending focus groups.

Because of this, acquiring and learning new skills and information has never been easier. Having since started this blog, I soon realized the benefit of it, having been fortunate enough to connect with a handful of people on the same topic. And i’m sure there are dozens more who i’ve yet to meet.

Here are 16 personal development blogs I come across recently, which really impressed me and have decided to list them in this blog post for your benefit.

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Before i discovered personal development, I used to suffer from a massive lack of self-confidence and had a lot of insecurities. But it wasn’t until my Brother in law at the time gave me a book to read, which provided me the first glimpse of the ‘self help’ industry and how there are actual authors who write about it with a growing audience.

Since then, i’ve become fascinated with how a person can actually improve themselves with the use of tools, books and other means of information. Since that time, I have gone on to consume a range of material on the subject.

But there are rare occasions where I sometimes come across a book that really captures and inspires me. One that is so simple to grasp that it catapults you into taking action and to make radical changes in your life. One such book is called ‘The Go-Giver’

Having read the book a number of times, i’ve decided to write a review of the go-giver and to give my views on how the book influenced me and how it became relevant to building my self-confidence.

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When i was younger, i would often forget about the idea that someday, i too will get old and will no longer have the energy or time to do the things that i’ve always wanted for myself. I would waste it worrying about what the other kids in school would think about me or not being able to afford the latest video game that i’ve really wanted to play.

Yet it’s not until now as a 28 year old that i wonder where all the time has gone. I still wonder what i could have done had i focused on the things that i think about now. Where would i be right now had i started sooner?

My limiting belief

Being older, i have this notion that i’m too old to make changes in my life and that approaching my thirties would mean that i would no longer have the freedom and time to do what i should have done in my teens and twenties due to increased responsibilities. And it’s not until i speak to my family members who are of course, a lot older and wiser than me where i’m reminded that its never too late to turn things around.

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Growing up as a child, i used to often refuse to talk and would rather listen and absorb conversations around me. Many of my friends and family would often come to me with their problems, saying how i’m such a good listener and great at being present and understanding what they had to say.

While i couldn’t understand why i behaved that way at the time, i realized why as i grew older and became more aware of my flaws and in my motivation to improve.

I was simply too terrified with upsetting people, of being judged or stepping on people’s toes.

It wasn’t until my early to mid twenties that i started to notice it affecting my life. I was unable to socialize with people, i was always in fear of being judged and always wanting to please people due to fear of someone disapproving of me as a person. I was stuck in the ‘nice guy’ trap and it hurt any chance of securing a relationship or sustaining a job.

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When I was younger, I used to often compare myself to others and wondered whether my behaviour was good or bad. This continued to grow as I became older and would often question what I was doing wrong due to being unpopular and getting bullied by my classmates.

Without realizing it, I started to believe that in order to be considered ‘normal’ and part of the group, I would have to try to change in order to fit in with everyone and to be liked.

This whole notion continues into adulthood and is often more complex than social pressure.

What makes things worse is that we’re constantly bombarded with visual imagery of successful actors, actresses and models, which give us a subconscious anchor to live up to. And if we’re can’t, are forced to believe that something’s not quite right with us and that we’re lacking in one way shape or form.

Advertising and influence plays an important role in getting people to make a purchase because of the above facts. And are made to be influenced enough that we go out and make a purchase in order to live up to those ideals.

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