Habits are the foundation of Mastery
I have a confession to make and it’s going to upset a lot of people…
Being yourself sucks…
It sucks because it forces you to stay comfortable and not push outside of your limits.
It sucks because it tricks you into thinking you can’t change and that things are the way they are.
It sucks because it keeps you from truly succeeding and becoming the person you really want to be.
I’ve lost count how many times i’ve come out of a bad situation and have someone tell me:
“Its ok, just be yourself and the right person/thing will come along…”
NO ITS NOT OK!
Is it ok if you wash your clothes and discover your clothes to be discoloured due to mixing your colours with your whites? Would you ‘Just be yourself’ and keep doing it, hoping for the best?
Of course you wouldn’t!
To me, being yourself is a cop out. The further i’ve gotten into personal development and self-improvement, the more I’m realising how silly it really is.
You can’t expect to just be yourself and expect different results.
The worst thing you could possibly do is to trick yourself into believing that who you really are is enough and that its the world and the people in it thats causing you to be where you currently are.
Here’s why this is a problem:
- You become a victim rather than take full responsibility of your actions.
- Your life becomes scarce and leave everything down to chance.
- You become lazy with your life and arrogant in the belief that people should ‘accept’ you for who you just are.
The third point i’m going to go into because it seems like a massive contradiction to everything i’ve said in previous articles about self-acceptance.
Yes, I agree that you should have confidence in yourself and love yourself because it sets the foundation of your life and the choices and decisions you ultimately make.
But the one thing you have to realise is that self-confidence is the fuel you need to want to change.
I’ll say that again…
Self-Confidence is the fuel you need to want to change.
A person whose self-confident will want to be the best they could be. They will take responsibility for everything in their lives, take care of themselves, their emotional well being and always strive to push themselves on a daily basis.
To a person with self-confidence, it’s clear that the notion of ‘being yourself’ just doesn’t cut it.
When I look back at my life from 10 years ago and seeing videos of myself as a 19 year old. It was obvious just how different I really was. My thought processes and beliefs were different, my mannerisms, the way I spoke and the habits I had back then were all different.
Was I being myself? Of course I was, but here’s the thing…
You are a result of the things you do on a daily basis, whether you're conscious of it or not.
Everything in life requires habit and rituals, which become a part of who you are over time through conscious repetition.
If something about you isn’t right and causing you to not see the results you’re looking for. Then its clear that something about you has to change.
Perhaps its your communication skills.
Perhaps its your ability to sell or market to others.
Maybe its your lack of drive and motivation to get things done.
Whatever it is, make a promise to yourself to accept your flaws; to not be ok with ‘just being yourself’ and to take the right actions that will steer you on the right path.
It may not be ‘who you are’ at the time. But that’s ok. Because over time, it will all become internalised through repetition and will ironically look at yourself and say the same thing you started off saying before taking action.
Being yourself is a myth. I challenge you to be your BEST self you can possibly be.
It all starts the minute you decide to do it. And that is all within your control.
Photo Credit: Jin Jinto