If someone ever asks you "What's the best way to develop a thick skin". Tell them to cut all the BS in their life that is preventing them from failure and to simply fail, fail and fail some more!
I personally haven't met a single person who hasn't grafted for a long period of time and not fail badly. Most of these success stories all have a major characteristic.
...They're tough as nails!
I challenge you to walk up to any one of them and share your sob story.
You feel like nobody is giving you a fair chance?... Tough, go out there, grind and fail.
You feel like you haven't had luck in the job market to ever become financially successful?... Tough, go out there, grind and fail.
You feel like you've never had the opportunity to be a great boyfriend/girlfriend and have never been taken seriously?... Tough, go out there, grind and fail.
Are you starting to see a pattern? I'm sure you get the idea by now...
Throughout my third week of the challenge, i've seemed to have been reminded of this consistently and experienced nothing more than failed attempts at trying to capture someone's attention.
While I would love to sit on my high horse and say my 3rd week was smooth sailing to the finish line, it was a stark reminder that i'm certainly not infallible and that there will ultimately be days where things simply won't go as you expect them to.
In fact, if I were to compare this to any one of my past endeavours, the exact same thing applied.
The beginning stages have all followed the same pattern. Almost like you have to go through the initial pain period of pushing a huge rock up a hill.
Except this rock isn't a physical rock, but a rock in your limiting beliefs that you constantly battle with every time you force yourself to step outside of your comfort zone.
This battle isn't you versus them... It's a battle with yourself!
Cold approach is amazing in that the people you talk to are like your mirror. How they respond to you is the very reflection they give you to tell you where you currently stand and how you ultimately feel about yourself. As harsh as this sounds. It really is true, because while no one can define who you are. The secret to truly understand this is to realise that it's you that ultimately gives them the permission to treat you that way!
I could never have possibly believed this to be true until I watched over and analysed my recorded approaches for the week. While I could have easily sat back and blamed the girls and the world of my problems. I had no choice but to accept that my behaviour was what caused it to happen in the first place.
What's clearly evident is that I still have holes in my beliefs when initially approaching someone, which is happening at an unconscious level.
Put simply, I need to honestly believe that I have something of value to give to others and that my attention is worth something.
Is this what a high value person believes in himself? Absolutely.
So what are the traits of a high value person?
A lot of these traits are common sense and grasped at an intuitive level. When you really stop and think what they are, it's clear they all share the following attributes:
- They speak slowly and clearly.
- They take their time and in no hurry to fill gaps.
- They occupy space.
- They speak with authority.
- They're decisive and know what they want.
- They're unashamed of who they are and what they stand for.
I'm sure there are many more characteristics I could have listed but you get the idea. The problem is, I displayed none of those in this week's approaches.
While I could spend all day bashing myself over it. It's actually great to see it, because now I have a better idea of what to focus on.
If you're reading this and maybe looking to follow my footsteps into getting this area of your life handled. You now have a better grasp on what to look for and perhaps go through the learning curve quicker... That's awesome and exactly what this blog and case-study is really about!
Without further ado. Here's a small sample of this week's approaches and failures. I hope it inspires you enough to take action and to realise that failure is a good thing.
Other Posts in the 180-Day Cold Approach Challenge
- Cold Approach Challenge (Week 1) – It Begins! (16/01/2014)
If you're afraid right now in taking action, please leave your comments below and tell me why. I would love to hear your thoughts!