You’re the driver of your train. Some may board only to later get off at a later stop, whilst others may choose to stay.

What is indifference?

Why is it so important and why is it needed in order to be happy?

The question of how to be indifferent has been spoken about in many sources and forums when it comes to peace of mind, yet many people find it difficult to develop. As we’re emotionally driven, one of the things which I’ve discovered is that indifference is a state which comes directly from your core and that in order to completely become indifferent, you will have to firstly understand who you are and to realize your strengths and limitations.

Initially, I thought becoming indifferent to a given circumstance would mean having to firstly block myself from feeling the emotion that would emerge from my experience. So if for example, I felt the emotion of sadness, I would aim to block it in my system by thinking about something else. While this can be effective. What i was really doing was stopping myself from accepting my feelings and avoiding it, which in the long run was an unhealthy thing to do.

It wasn’t until later when I realized that the only way to truly become in line with myself was to firstly accept who i was with my nature. This included my emotions, my state and my sense of belonging to the world.

So in my opinion, indifference isn’t being ‘in control’ with yourself, but by simply ‘being yourself’ in the present moment and in understanding that regardless of the situation, nothing is either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and is simply ‘what is’ at the moment.

So let’s take a simple scenario:

Imagine you were with a group of friends and they all eventually decided to go somewhere without you and leave you behind because they all felt you wouldn’t want to be part of it. In this instance, How would you feel?

Of course as a human being, the emotion of ‘sadness and disappointment’ would emerge.

You may also possibly overreact and begin questioning yourself as to why you were left out and start judging yourself negatively.

Of course, there are social norms and mutual respect which needs to be considered when in a friendship or relationship. What’s important to understand is that nothing is ever 100%

So the key to becoming indifferent is as follows…

The events in the world are never predictable

The biggest cause of frustration and disappointment almost certainly comes from expectation and pressure with having things happen the way you want it to. As we all know, life hardly ever works out like that. We could also go further and say people aren’t like that.

So the best way to become indifferent is by letting go of expectations and need. The truth of the matter is, no one is ever predictable. Our feelings and moods change from moment to moment and is what makes us human.

So if you want to have peace of mind, learn to let go of expectation and to simply enjoy the moment. If something or someone doesn’t fulfil your expectations, simply acknowledge it, embrace the emotion you’re feeling at the moment and keep going.

Jay White wrote a brilliant post which I can personally relate to about how we can master the art of apathy, why it’s beneficial as well as a 3 step guide in attaining it. He writes a really great description:

Use apathy in situations that wouldn’t negatively affect your day if you never heard it in the first place. Let’s say you spill milk all over the counter. Relax, it’s no biggie. Just clean it up. Think to yourself, “Well, no use crying over spilt milk.”

It’s clear that whatever happens in your day-to-day life, it is what it is. Simply go along with it and enjoy the moment.

Life is like a train

You’re the driver of your train. Some may board only to later get off at a later stop, whilst others may choose to stay.

Follow your path and never stray. This is the key to becoming indifferent and thus a happier and more balanced human being.

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Onder Hassan
Onder Hassan

Onder is the founder of Dawn of Change. He spends most of his time in the discovery of his own potential, building his self-confidence and using his experiences to share and teach others how to do the same.