Should Men Approach Women?

should men approach women
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By the time you finish reading this article, you’ll have learned the importance of taking charge of your life and more importantly, understand the need to better yourself regardless of your gender and circumstances and why other people’s impression of you really isn’t that important.

One of the biggest things that affected me in my past, which is almost too embarrassing for me to even admit in this blog post is the fact that I was too insecure and downright needy to keep a girl in my life or maintain interest in me.

As you can imagine, this left a massive scar in my life that gave a never ending feedback loop as it reinforced the false belief that I was unattractive and not able to attract the opposite sex.

It was so bad that no one’s positive view of me mattered at that point. My achievements were unrecognised and still felt a hole in my self-esteem that I couldn’t seem to close.

My confidence swooped to an all time low and it affected other parts of my life. My communication skills were non existent and made me too afraid to even start a conversation with someone due to the fear of being rejected or being judged negatively.

So how does this relate to men approaching women?

Well going out and actively talking to people for the last few years. It’s given me the understanding that there really is nothing to be afraid of and that women in particular really are in abundance, which is true. There are billions of women in the world that we can potentially meet. Yet in our lifetime only ever get to speak with less than 1% of them.

It is a very controversial thing to say and poses loads of problems for the women in the world.

How will a woman maintain a guy’s interest if he has so many options?

...Welcome to a man’s world!

The problem is, we live in a world full of double standards. Its a given that women who are fairly attractive will have men pursuing them on a daily basis with no shortage of options. Men generally don’t have that luxury and have to engage and start the courtship process with no guarantee of a woman responding positively.

For men, it’s an uphill slog. In order for a man to even stand out, he will have to do something different in order to capture an attractive woman’s interest. In short… He is limited to the women he has to approach and interact with.

And this excludes the idea of dealing with rejection and having to talk to many women in order to increase his odds. In short, dating for men is hard! and requires the ability to withstand rejection in order to experience the same abundance as women. But with that comes resilience, character and the ability to persevere.

The act of talking to strangers on a daily basis has become a therapeutic exercise. It’s gotten rid of my needy and insecure behaviour due to all the rejection, which has helped me get over other people’s impression of me.

Best of all, it’s given me a sense of empowerment knowing that I can go out any time I want, meet and potentially date the girls of my choosing.

With that in mind, I think it’s a great thing for any guy to go out and take advantage of if they’re coming from a place of scarcity. But with that comes conflict, as society seems to place a heavy taboo on men actively going out and talking to multiple women.

They’re labelled as players and the type of guys who really shouldn’t be taken seriously.

But here’s the thing. It should be within any guy’s interest to be experienced enough to know what he’s doing with women.

Particularly if his goal is to make her happy.

A man must practice and experience communicating with lots of them if he’s to achieve this.

No man is ever born being great with women and is probably one of the most common misconceptions in dating; That men should by nature know what they’re doing and that any man who actively tries to get good is either a loser or a reject in the dating market.

The opposite is in fact true - There’s really no other sign of masculinity or attractiveness than for a man who is aware of his flaws and who actively goes out to change it and better his life.

To the ladies reading this article. How many men do you personally know who are actively looking to improve their lives in every possible way? Chances are, if you did you’ll have already married them icon wink Should Men Approach Women?

This may pose a threat to women on the whole, but I believe this will encourage women to become better themselves by doing what men have been doing since the dawn of time by actively taking control of this area of their lives.

Simply being beautiful is not enough. If you want a high quality man, the question you will have to inevitably ask yourself is:

“What other things about me is there that will make a man want to invest in me long term?”

So should men actively approach women?

Absolutely! I encourage anyone to do so and it isn’t gender specific. There’s simply no better way to exercise your confidence and to tackle your inner issues than to face your insecurities directly.

Granted, rejections will happen and it will be painful. But the point is, you’re on your way to becoming successful and being the man that all women ultimately want and are too afraid to admit, and vice versa.

This is an article that I feel had to be written since many people are too afraid to tackle this issue directly due to its controversial nature. But I really do think this will benefit both sexes.

Having more strong and secure men in the world with power and options will only create happier and more fulfilled women resulting in and a healthier society.

There’s really no better way to feel inspired to become better than to stand in front of the object of your desire who is constantly growing and improving.

So let’s stop with the judging and name calling and start taking action to improve each other for the better.

Now it’s over to you… If you have any personal thoughts of your own, please leave them in the comments below.

Photo Credit: Yourdon

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 Should Men Approach Women?

About Onder Hassan

Onder is the founder of Dawn of Change. He spends most of his time in the discovery of his own potential, building his self-confidence and using his experiences to share and teach others how to do the same.
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  • http://www.psycholocrazy.com/ jamie flexman

    To me, approaching seems to suggest a barrier that must be crossed. I frame it as 'talking' to women. When we approach, we usually want something but talking can be a mutually beneficial activity for both people involved.

    • http://www.dawnofchange.com/ Onder Hassan

      I agree,
      A lot of guys don't approach though 'cos of fear let alone talking. Not knowing what will happen is usually terrifying when first starting out. They commonly think of the worst case scenario.
      Most of them always say the same thing: "What do I say?".
      So I think the issue isn't really the talking part as i'm sure a lot of guys would find it easier to talk to girls if they got over the first hurdle of knowing what to say.