There is no pleasure without a heavy dose of pain.
One of the most hated and inevitable things we can ever experience in life is the idea of failing and making mistakes. Throughout 2013, i’ve probably failed at least a couple of dozen times, and it hurt like hell!
It’s the reason why we choose to not take chances and to instead stay in our comfort bubble. It’s also why many of us fail to pursue and achieve our dreams because it often requires a very harsh dose of rejection, pain and the realisation that we aren’t indestructible or perfect.
My personal problem was the idea that I would get found out by people and get branded as a failure or a loser. Probably due to my bad experiences at school, which has held me back for so long due to not wanting to experience the same thing again.
While it’s an obvious problem, it’s also something I have to break out of and to instead bare myself to the world (flaws and all) and to show you the reader that while I might be someone who you might consider an authority who knows enough to teach. I’m also someone who makes mistakes like everyone else, and pretty bad ones!
Being someone who shares articles on self-confidence, I have to also be responsible with what I project to the person reading it and to not give off a false idea of what it takes to really succeed.
There are far too many people on the internet who display a bravado like attitude by giving the impression that they’re experts who make little to no mistakes in their field of work. And that the process is in fact very smooth and straight forward.
This is far from reality
It’s not until you look at failure and what it involves and compare it to everything in your life that you got really good at that you really begin to see how rubbish and unrealistic it actually is.
The truth is. Nothing that’s worth acquiring is easy and requires a lot of hard work, effort and loads of failure and humiliation in order to steer yourself towards success.
This is the big secret Guru’s fail to tell you. They want to sell you the ‘magic pill’ so they can get you to buy their products. In reality. it simply doesn’t exist.
If there ever was such a thing as a magic pill, then the dosage is simple – To take it for 4 hours a day every day and expect horrible after effects until you improve.
The biggest breakthrough
If I was ever given the opportunity to stand on stage and preach anything to you in order to take action, it would be to embrace failure and use it as an opportunity to learn. While having the right mindset is important, it’s in my honest opinion, a buffer to get you to avoid taking action and the inevitable experience of making mistakes and failing. Your mindset shift comes as a result of taking action.
I promised action oriented videos as evidence to explain what I write. So here’s a video clip of me getting rejected badly in an interaction I had recently:
Was this interaction painful? Absolutely!
Did I come out the other side alive and better prepared? Almost certainly!
Here are 5 reasons why rejection is good for you, which will help you begin to see it for what it is:
1) It allows you to steer in the right direction
You won’t ever know what the right path is until you experience a bad result. This is why it’s necessary to fail because you simply will not know or truly understand it until you experience it at first hand.
2) It makes you stronger
Rejection allows you to see things for what they are and gradually starts to allow you to detach from the actual result. You no longer position yourself as a failure just because you failed but simply view it as something to improve. This puts you in a position of power as it allows you to pursue even greater challenges.
3) You learn a lot quicker
What’s the quickest way to learn? By failing as fast and as often as you can!
I remember being told that “What hurts you can only make you stronger”. And it’s not until now that i’ve really understood what that actually meant. Learn to fail and fail fast.
4) You self-confidence improves
Rejection and failure in my opinion is quite possibly the greatest therapy you could ever receive. Everything we do in our lives is simply a buffer to avoid it, because nobody wants their ego destroyed. Ego can be a very destructive thing if you fail to take control of it. The minute you expose yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable is the minute you’ll truly become a better person.
You can gain a head start on this by checking out my latest book.
5) It allows you to keep faith
Nothing in life can ever be achieved without a healthy dose of faith. My year has been horrible, but I know for certain that if it wasn’t for my belief that things would work out in the end, I never would have survived. We are more resourceful than we think we are, and it isn’t until you’re put in challenging situations that you begin to really see it.
What failures have you experienced and overcome this year? Please leave your comments below and share your thoughts…
photo credit: Tilemahos Efthimiadis