If you wait for permission to get started with anything, be prepared to wait a long time

When I look back at my past and notice the times i’ve had a hard time. It was all because I was looking for other people’s approval to tell me how worthy I was in order to feel confident enough with my own abilities.

The reason most people do this is because we are often forced to compete and put ourselves in front of ‘authority figures’ in order to be judged.

It wasn’t until I started this blog when I realised the reality of this and why many of us end up insecure and doubtful of our own abilities.

The game is fixed for us to lose, until we decide to play our own game with our own rules.

When I started this blog, I had no idea about the challenges I was going to face: Whether what I wrote was something people wanted to read, whether I was good enough to write, the lack of motivation to write some days, and all the negative self doubt.

I realised I was in control of my own progress and destiny. This is a really scary position to be in when you’re coming from a place of comfort and certainty.

It’s the reason many of us decide to live comfortably instead of pushing outside of it.

And it’s something that has been the biggest blessing ever, because it’s forced me to start taking responsibility for everything I do. No longer could I blame my manager, my friends or my circumstances… Everything is all my doing.

I wrote a crappy article that wasn’t relevant to what my topic was about? It’s all my fault.

I changed a piece of code on my website that made my blog go offline? It’s all my fault.

I failed at publishing my book on schedule? It’s all my fault.

Along the way, I started to make big realisations of who I was as a person. I realised that I was enough, and that what I was simply going through was a series of trials and failures to get me to where I wanted to be.

Jeff Goins wrote a really profound article about not waiting to be chosen and it really hit me when I read it. Why wait for anyone’s approval to be considered an expert?

The truth is, people’s views and judgements are always going to be subjective as everyone has different perceptions. If you spent your whole life trying to live up to their expectations then you would simply be waiting forever, because you can’t please everybody, especially yourself due to hurting your self-esteem and self-worth along the way.

You are enough

My challenge for you is simple: Start something of your own.

You will learn more about yourself and how you perceive yourself than what anyone could ever give you.

Don’t wait to be chosen… Your success and failure is all down to you.

You want to be a writer? write!
You want to be a painter? paint!
You want to be a dancer? dance!

Now it’s your turn…

Please leave your comments below and tell me what’s stopping you from achieving your goals.

photo credit: osseous

Onder Hassan
Onder Hassan

Onder is the founder of Dawn of Change. He spends most of his time in the discovery of his own potential, building his self-confidence and using his experiences to share and teach others how to do the same.

    7 replies to "The #1 Reason Why Being Chosen Sucks"

    • Hiten Vyas

      Hi Onder,

      Excellent insights, indeed!

      I loved what you wrote about starting something of your own. One thing I would encourage people to do is to start their own business, or start a voluntary project and lead it. By taking the driving seat of such initiatives, it can be a great opportunity to do as you say, which is to learn about ourselves and really see what we are capable of.

      Thank you.

      • Onder Hassan

        Thanks Hiten,
        I think starting something of your own is crucial because it forces you to take responsibility for your life and prevents you from putting blame on things. Because you can’t. Whatever happens in your business is all your fault 🙂

    • jamie flexman

      Often the thing that used to stop me was the fear of success. The fear that if things go well, I will be out of my depth all of a sudden. It’s a strange paradox that the very thing I am trying to accomplish and all the joy within is scaring the hell out of me.

      • Onder Hassan

        Its amazing isn’t it?

        The best way I find that helps me get over it is to remind myself that whatever happens happens, and to embrace failure and success. The reality is, you can’t experience one without the other, so it only makes sense to appreciate them for what they really are.

        Once you do, you realise there was nothing to really be afraid of 🙂

    • Ludvig Sunström

      I’ve had this same thought a lot for the past couple of months!

      It’s fun/tragic when you start seeing this in other people as well, you see them making all kinds of weird excuses for things not going their way instead of putting in some effort.

      I like the message – it’s all about taking some initiative every day. It adds up.

      “I changed a piece of code on my website that made my blog go offline? It’s all my fault.”

      —> I know the feeling man! 😉

    • Dan Black

      Great thoughts here, the key is to start taking action on our life and dreams. Growing our influence and doing work that really matters.

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