This is a Guest Post by Bob Burg who has been a massive influence on me in the last few years having read his book and putting it to use. He will be explaining how to motivate others to be their best selves, and why it’s paramount to giving value and building a healthy society of better people with increased self-confidence.
Yep – it’s true. Give someone a positive trait or characteristic to live up to and the chances are, they will. This is not just a feel-good philosophy but one that has proven to work time and again. In a previous article we looked at one reason. Now, let’s discuss another.
In Les Giblin’s classic, How To Have Confidence And Power in Dealing With People, he shows that the best way to elicit one acting in a certain way is to let them “live up” to your expectation of them. The following story told by the author, regarding people living up to a trait they are not usually given, demonstrates a method as good as any “truth serum” on the market today.
[quote style=”boxed”]A police officer was consistently able to get thugs to give him information. How? By saying, ‘People tell me you have quite a reputation as a tough guy and that you’ve been in lots of trouble, but there’s one thing you won’t do – you won’t lie. They say, if you tell me anything at all, it will be the truth – and that’s the reason I’m here.[/quote]
Wow, talk about giving one something to live up to!
The Back Story
Les quotes famed British statesman, Sir Winston Churchill, as saying, “I have found that the best way to get another to acquire a virtue, is to impute it to him.”
This works not just for finding out the truth, but for all aspects for dealing successfully with others in terms of bringing out their best..
I remember years ago having an opportunity to utilize this method with a person from whom I needed some specialized information. I’d used her services before and she always did a good job. Not great, but good.
This time, however, she was having some trouble locating the necessary information. As she was looking frustrated and ready to give up, I looked at the person next to me and said, “I don’t know if this information can be found or not, but I’ll tell you this – if anyone can find it, she can.” You can bet she found it and continued to go out of her way for me whenever I needed her help. And, what I love most about this is the confidence it instilled in her that I believe made her a more effective human being both personally and professionally.
Gear this method to your own unique circumstances. Not to see if it works – it works! – but to practice getting really good at making it work for you, and others, in a variety of situations.
Is your significant other losing their patience quickly? Then “appreciate” (verbally) the fact that one thing about her you truly admire is her high degree of patience.
Is your child feeling as though math isn’t his “thing?” Then express your delight that he has such a quick mind for numbers.
Is your boss displaying a temper that has you upset? Then, as you go into her office to ask a question about an unrelated issue, just happen to comment on the fact that you always admire how she is able to keep such a clear-thinking and level-headed demeanor.
Yes, give people something good – something great – to live up to and they will usually do so; often exceeding even the high expectations you have set for them.
Les’ Giblin’s method is not just a one-time tactic, but a way of life that raises the bar for everyone!